If I Could Write A Letter To Me

I’ve been thinking a lot… I’m always thinking actually. It’s really bugging me out lately. I can’t turn off my brain. Anyway, I was thinking about how music over time has affected my life in good or bad ways. So if I were to write a letter to me at different ages of my life, I think this is how it would goooo.

Dear 4 -year-old me:

You are nothing but a trouble maker. You make your mother’s life a living hell. You can’t sit still and you are the biggest brat ever. Seriously though, you are really cute ( as a kid) and can get away with a lot but stop with the temper freak outs! However, while your dad sits and plays the piano every night, you can’t seem to sit still long enough to actually want to learn anything about the piano… because let’s face it, you were causing trouble like a menace. Eventually though, you are intrigued enough to learn a couple of songs like “Ode to Joy ” but that’s about it.

Dear 8-year-old me:

You are still a little brat. Seriously, grow up already. You seriously have a case of “only child syndrome” , you will find out very soon the world does not revolve around you. While you seriously have a case of hyperness, you begin many sports teams and this is when you truly fall in love with softball. At the same time, you also discover that your uncle plays in the band on Saturday Night Live. He plays the bari saxophone, and you think that is the coolest thing in the world. However, the music education at school won’t let you start playing until middle school, so you start private lessons. At the same time, your dad wants you to play piano so badly. So he tries giving you lessons… epic fail. You are so stubborn you won’t listen to him. But your mom and dad want you to play  piano so badly. Eventually you do…

Dear 10-year-old me:

You are naturally talented at playing the saxophone. You just are, so practice until you get really good, because natural talent can get you so far. At the same time, this is when you start taking piano lessons. You struggle a little bit at first, but  you are such a go getter, you excel  very quickly and you also have a natural talent for piano. You can thank both of your parents for that, they are both musically gifted.

Dear 16-year-old me:

You are finally in high school… doesn’t it suck. You are extremely busy playing on 4 different sports teams, your clubs and activities and of course band and choir and everything with music. Again, you are an over achiever, you need to chill out. But you are super busy because now you have your first paycheck job and your first “real” boyfriend. You will date him for 2 and a half years… probably a year too long if you ask me. But because you are so busy, music and practice seems to be in the back burner. However, this is also the same year you went to state for playing piano. I guess you can juggle it all. Don’t burn yourself out.

Dear 18-year-old me:

You are about to graduate, you stop taking piano lessons because of problems at home. You are about to go to Lawrence University for softball and pre-med… music isn’t really on your mind. Maybe  a minor in composition but that’s it. You still like to play piano and saxophone, and you will soon pick up playing guitar, but however, you lose a lot of motivation after being completely burnt out from school, sports and music. For some reason, you always choose sports over music, I don’t know if that is a good or bad thing, even too this day. Your  high school band teacher who you deeply appreciate to this day forward is an amazing role model and will tell you that hard work will get you places.

Dear 21-year-old me:

While you try to understand things about life, you take an amazing adventure to Australia, and at this moment in life, music surrounds you and you understand more and more about music and this crazy world. Because at this point, you  have transferred to Marquette University and you have amazing professors in the music department that push you . For the first time ever, music fits perfectly into your world.

As of now that is my letter to myself, I don’t know what else to say at this point, but I think these moments in my life have a huge factor as to how music affects me.

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