Wow! Words can’t explain what has happened to me this summer. But it’s a roller coaster!
I learned a lot about myself, my career and what I want out of life.
Here is what I learned from tours and festivals I’ve worked so far:
- I want respect. I don’t need the ground I walked to be a red carpet, I just want sugar and spice and everything nice. Meaning peoples’ personality, not things or stuff.
- I want to move up in my career. It’s one thing to have power, but it’s another to have power and to create better opportunities for your team and for yourself. But also, I just like to make life a little bit easier.
- I do like to travel for work. I’ve been to some places, I probably wouldn’t have gone had it not been for work. I’m extremely grateful for that and experience new places in the world.
- I don’t want to be an asshole. I’ve learned that just being mean to people is just petty and stupid. I’ll always be the first one to admit when I make a mistake, but don’t be a jerk about it when I admit my faults.
- I don’t ever want to be anyone else but me. I can’t help who I am. I can be really tough at times and I can be the nicest person in the world. But in the end, I am who I am. I plan on treating everyone well and equally and I want the same in return.
Fair warning: To whoever wants to work in touring, festivals and production world; this is a very slow time of year. Very slow. Like super slow. I think paint drys faster than the months of December through February. This is a really good time to go on holidays and break away from the world.
Like it is so slow everyone is trying to find work… literally any kind of work. I think even most of the venues in Nashville are slow that’s how slow it is. But even if you have work coming in January, February, March, people are STILL looking to occupy their time.
For work right now, I’m working for a wardrobe stylist and working at a venue. I think I said that in my last post. But even then I’m still looking for work. Because I like to work. I’m a workaholic.
So right now, my focus is on this year and getting big gigs and moving my career to the next level. I highly suggest if you are in this field of work that you do the same thing.
As the season is dwindling down, I’ve been thinking a lot about this past year and what I want for myself careerwise.
Here is what I know:
- I have way more confidence in myself then I’ve ever have before.
- I have developed skill sets and communication skills on a different and higher level that I didn’t think was possible.
- I know I can do any job and do it well.
- As long as I put my mind to it, I will succeed.
This self-power I’ve developed has come a long way for me. Because the only thing I have is the power to believe in myself. And I hope as a reader and follower you will too.
I don’t know where it came from, but I do know, I need it for my career and my self-worth.
I think it’s important to reflect on what your goals are and what you want to accomplish in the next years. I do have some personal goals of mine but overall, my main focus for next year is to be part of the few woman people look up to in Nashville.
As I sit here reading Chelsea Handler books, I realize I’m a straight up loser sitting in on a Friday night and not going out. Well not really that, I feel more like a loser because no one responds to my emails. And that my friend said to me he wants to “rent” my N64 games from me, instead of actually inviting me over to play. That’s straight up loser status.
But enough about me whining about how pathetic I am, I’m starting to lose my creativity. Because I haven’t been writing songs, I haven’t been going out, and my blogs are pretty pathetic. I really hope I get some inspiration soon, because I’m about to go nuts.
It doesn’t help, that people don’t return my calls or e-mails or the fact that I’ve been turned down from every job since September.
Then I remembered, that the holidays are coming up. People are busy. And the world does not revolve around me. Thank god it doesn’t, because I don’t want that much attention.
In other news: Happy Birthday Keith Richards!
Yesterday was my birthday. Yes, I am a year older. Yes, I have more wrinkles and more cellulite. The joys of getting older. And I still don’t have a roadie job lined up for next year. But as I went to McKay’s today to look through thousands of discounted books, I realized, I may not be where I want to be right now, but I’m constantly trying to work on making myself better.
I work out, read, continue to reach out to those who know more than me, and most importantly, trying to do whatever I can to be the best person I can be.
And so here is my promise to myself:
To continue to work on getting on the road
To always look on the bright side of things
To make sure the people that are important to me get my attention and the attention they deserve
But most importantly,I want to stay true to myself and always believe in myself
I never thought I would post a Justin Bieber song, but this is brilliant! #loveyourself
I’m currently sitting at Denver airport… to go to Florida. What the hell, am I gong all the way to Denver to go to Florida?
Seriously? I have to go half way across the country to go all the way down to the other side of the country? That seems a little backwards to me, if you know what I mean.
But here’s why I’m doing it. So I can see my family, for free. Yes for free. My mom used to work for the airline so we had some extra benefits rollover.
Here’s the thing about anything that comes for free or for cheap. Most of the time, it’s not worth it. I recently got a haircut, for a very cheap price. And it is by far the worst haircut, I’ve ever received in my entire life. How bad? I asked for a trim, and the woman gave me a Pauly D cut.
My point: I think the reason why the music industry is so hard to get into it, because you have to work really hard for your career and passion. Nothing good in life is cheap, free and easy to come by.
So I’ll take the lower paying jobs, and the long hours and the hard work, because I know it will pay off.
I’m filling out a form for a mentorship program in Nashville.
One of the questions for the form has is “What is your definition of success?”
And I thought about it really hard, because everyone has a different definition of what it means to be happy. As I’m writing it, I’m not actually sure what I truly think about it. Because everyday is different. Everyday I wake up wondering what the hell am I doing, wondering what will the day bring me, what will I do today.
Today, my definition of success would be to be laying next to my best friend. I’ve known her since I was two weeks old. What would I be doing with her, besides celebrating her birthday.Probably talking about our families,friends, boys and life. It’s so easy to be around her, I am inspired by her everyday.
I really hate the fact that I will not be there for her birthday, but I’m here trying to make my life happy and successful.
There’s always highs and lows in everyone’s life.
And it’s not different when you work in music.
How I explain it to people, is there is no guarantee that I will job tomorrow. There’s no guarantee, that I will ever make it. There’s no guarantee whether or not anything I do is ever worth it.
Because entertainment is highly demanding and stressful, and everyone wants in.
But what they don’t realize is, it is not a glamorous life style at all. It’s not. The people that make it, are the ones that are passionate about what they do.
That’s why we do, what we do. We do it for the fans, for our souls, for the music. Sometimes it does get rough, it’s just a matter of whether how much you want it and how much you are willing to fight for it. Fight for what you want and for the music.
What goes up, must come down. It’s just a matter of balancing the ups and downs.
When I was four, I fell off my bike and busted my knee. I acted like it was the end of the world. My mom told me “It’s going to be OK”. Sure enough, my knee was fine, but I still have a scar on my knee to prove it.
When I was 17, I lost a piano competition, and I thought again my world was going to end. But my dad, sat me down and told me, ” The world isn’t fair, and this is going to happen more and more as life goes on. But it’s going to be OK.”
When I was 18, I had a devastating house fire. That same day, I went to go get the mail, and I found out I was put on the wait list for my number one college. At that point, I knew my life was over and there was nothing I could do about it. But something inside of me just sparked. And that night as I slept on some floor, I thought to myself “It’s going to be OK”.
When I was 24, I made the decision that I wanted to do something with my life, and I picked up and left for Nashville. The struggle has been real and it’s taught me a lot. I’ve been mugged, got into a hit and run, my grandmother passing away, car problems… the list goes on. When I tell my friends what’s been going on, the most supportive ones, don’t give me advice. They tell me, “Do what makes you happy, it’s going to work out and everything is going to be OK.”
My Point: Working in the industry and living my life in general has taught me that there are going to be some really bad times. Bad times where you don’t think you will survive. So bad you just don’t know what to do anymore. But if there is anything I learned in my short time on this planet, it’s that if you want something, you need to go after it. You need to work hard and you need to wake up being the best person you can be. After all, it’s going to be OK.
As everyone tells me, I’m doing great things for only being down in Nashville for a short amount of time. Right now, I feel like my time is pinched and if I had more time in my 70 hour work week, I think I would have made bigger leaps here.
Weekly, I’m networking about 10 to 20 hours a week and that includes going to networking events/ music events. I try to go to 4 shows a month.. obviously, that’s just a joy for me. I apply for at least 5 jobs a week. I also blog to keep up my writing skills and I continue to do freelance work whenever I can. Did I mention I have a little bit of a social life?
Never the less, I’m trying extremely hard. Like most girls my age try to really hard to be in a relationship, I’m trying really hard to get my career on the go! I guess only time will tell!
My point: Beggars can’t be choosers.
Here’s a great song, I totally forgot about! Normal like you is a great band!