Hello from Casper, Wyoming. Not much to do here since there is one Uber in town and we are actually 20 minutes outside of Casper. Either way, happy for a day off.
Before this last run in South Dakota, I decided to fly out early to stay at my grandma’s house for a couple of days. It was probably one of the best decisions I’ve made in a while.
Just to give you an idea of my grandma’s house:
She lives out in the middle of woods in Custer, South Dakota. There are no city streets and you can see every star in the sky at night. It is truly a beautiful experience. Sometimes I think I’m in a scary movie it is so remote.
My grandma died on my birthday three and a half years ago. She was a great person and a talented artist. My grandma went to school for seven years with her masters in art education. She painted very well and she drew like it was real life figures. I cried when I walked into her house and all the paintings were still up. It is what she would have wanted. She didn’t paint for anyone else besides herself.
I know I write mostly about music artists, but I think it’s important to address all the different kinds of artists in the world. My grandma died a true artist and she was one of the best ones who went undiscovered.
Rest in Peace Grandma
I’ve briefly mentioned before, I used to write all the time. Not write as in like blog writing, but songwriting. I’m not very good at it. I get these crazy ideas, they bottle up inside me and they never go anywhere. It feels like I’m trying to say something but I can’t complete the sentence.
It sounds like the story of my life, but I understand why songwriting is such an art. There’s a beauty to it. Some people get it, some don’t.
As I’m writing this right now, I’m literally pulling my hair out because I’m trying to figure out my point.
For the first time in months, I finally picked up my keyboard. It’s currently sitting on my bed but I was finally playing for the first time in a long time.
So now where do I go from here? Do I keep it to myself? Do I let others know what I’m doing? What thing is for certain- my birthday is coming up and I feel like I’m missing something in my life.
Maybe songwriting can help me figure it out. Don’t believe me- I wrote the lyrics to the song below.
When life gets tough, sometimes it is OK to cry. Because let’s face it, we’ve all been through some roughness in our life, you don’t know if you’ll be able to face the real world again.
I wish there were more sad songs on the radio. I mean losing something or missing something so special to you. I think people would be able to relate to more songs because losing something (not in a heartbreak way) is such a strong feeling. Because sometimes, I can’t listen to music when I’m sad, because Pandora plays love songs… Not their fault, it’s just what is on the radio.
I’m in the process of losing my dog to cancer and it’s going to be a really tough process for me. She’s been so good to me as I’ve been traveling, moving and on my own adventures. She’s always there for me when I return. And because of everything I’ve been through since I moved down to Nashville, I’m going to start songwriting and playing piano again.
It doesn’t matter what you are doing in life. It doesn’t matter what period you are in your life. There will always be people around who will always try to bring you down.
Whether it’s in your career or whether it’s in your personal life, boy or girl, chicken or cow, it will happen to you at some point in your life.
Now, when it comes to handling this, there’s a couple of ways to go about it:
The crazy road: Where you start swearing up a storm and start ripping peoples’ hair out.
The I’m better than this road: This is when you ignore everything and act like nothing is going wrong… because you are “better than this” AKA you are oblivious to everything to what is actually going on.
Or you can take this road…
Jaimee’s road: This is the way I do things. I’m not saying it’s right, I’m not saying it’s the holy grail. This is how I’ve learn to handle things. I like to go head on with things. I like to head straight on with the problem, and just confront the person. Sure, words may be exchanged but honesty has always been the best policy for me.
As I sit here reading Chelsea Handler books, I realize I’m a straight up loser sitting in on a Friday night and not going out. Well not really that, I feel more like a loser because no one responds to my emails. And that my friend said to me he wants to “rent” my N64 games from me, instead of actually inviting me over to play. That’s straight up loser status.
But enough about me whining about how pathetic I am, I’m starting to lose my creativity. Because I haven’t been writing songs, I haven’t been going out, and my blogs are pretty pathetic. I really hope I get some inspiration soon, because I’m about to go nuts.
It doesn’t help, that people don’t return my calls or e-mails or the fact that I’ve been turned down from every job since September.
Then I remembered, that the holidays are coming up. People are busy. And the world does not revolve around me. Thank god it doesn’t, because I don’t want that much attention.
In other news: Happy Birthday Keith Richards!
I really hate the stereotype of musicians and the rockstar lifestyle. It’s not true at all. Believe me, their lives are not as glamorous as you think it is.
Yesterday I walked into a bar with a couple of friends for Sunday Funday. Low behold, guess who walks in. Miranda Lambert. And after all the controversy that has been going on with her, I’m sure she just wants to be surrounded by good friends,people and beer.
And of course what happens, she is swarmed by 10,000 guys trying to hit on her. She literally just wants a beer and to be left the hell alone. Naturally, she dipped out in the back way to escape the horror.
But seriously, when you are going through a hard time, all you want is comfort and support. But once you have made it in the big leagues, your normal life disappears.
Please tell me, when you are feeling alone, scared, vulnerable, you want to be swamped with paparazzi cameras staring at you like mosquitos… I didn’t think so.
So next time you see someone super famous out and about, leave them alone.
When I was four, I fell off my bike and busted my knee. I acted like it was the end of the world. My mom told me “It’s going to be OK”. Sure enough, my knee was fine, but I still have a scar on my knee to prove it.
When I was 17, I lost a piano competition, and I thought again my world was going to end. But my dad, sat me down and told me, ” The world isn’t fair, and this is going to happen more and more as life goes on. But it’s going to be OK.”
When I was 18, I had a devastating house fire. That same day, I went to go get the mail, and I found out I was put on the wait list for my number one college. At that point, I knew my life was over and there was nothing I could do about it. But something inside of me just sparked. And that night as I slept on some floor, I thought to myself “It’s going to be OK”.
When I was 24, I made the decision that I wanted to do something with my life, and I picked up and left for Nashville. The struggle has been real and it’s taught me a lot. I’ve been mugged, got into a hit and run, my grandmother passing away, car problems… the list goes on. When I tell my friends what’s been going on, the most supportive ones, don’t give me advice. They tell me, “Do what makes you happy, it’s going to work out and everything is going to be OK.”
My Point: Working in the industry and living my life in general has taught me that there are going to be some really bad times. Bad times where you don’t think you will survive. So bad you just don’t know what to do anymore. But if there is anything I learned in my short time on this planet, it’s that if you want something, you need to go after it. You need to work hard and you need to wake up being the best person you can be. After all, it’s going to be OK.