Oh What a Night

Wow! Words can’t explain what has happened to me this summer. But it’s a roller coaster!

I learned a lot about myself, my career and what I want out of life.

Here is what I learned from tours and festivals I’ve worked so far:

  • I want respect. I don’t need the ground I walked to be a red carpet, I just want sugar and spice and everything nice. Meaning peoples’ personality, not things or stuff.
  • I want to move up in my career. It’s one thing to have power, but it’s another to have power and to create better opportunities for your team and for yourself. But also, I just like to make life a little bit easier.
  • I do like to travel for work. I’ve been to some places, I probably wouldn’t have gone had it not been for work. I’m extremely grateful for that and experience new places in the world.
  • I don’t want to be an asshole. I’ve learned that just being mean to people is just petty and stupid. I’ll always be the first one to admit when I make a mistake, but don’t be a jerk about it when I admit my faults.
  • I don’t ever want to be anyone else but me. I can’t help who I am. I can be really tough at times and I can be the nicest person in the world. But in the end, I am who I am. I plan on treating everyone well and equally and I want the same in return.

 

Musician Yes. Living No.

I’m hoping that if a little bit more time on my hands, I’ll start to write more music and playing more music. I’m in a better place where I understand what my music and writing mean to me. It’s a good thing, and my mind can be at peace.

I am not trying to take it anywhere or trying to pursue anything with it. I just really, really want to think about my music and what it means to me.

No more over analyzing or overthinking what phrases mean. Or thinking about what other people think about it.

Touring has made me realize that I was not meant to live my life as a musician. And I’m totally ok with that. Truly OK with that.

Touring has made me realize more of my strengths and weaknesses. Made me realize what I want more out of life. But I’m starting to see more and more what my purpose is in this world.

 

 

Avicii

I never had the opportunity to work with Avicii. I wish I did because I heard great things about him and his camp. Unfortunately, I won’t get that chance.Tim Bergling, the Swedish EDM star, passed away last week.

I think like the rest of the world, I was shocked to hear the news. A talented soul that was taken too soon. But selfishly, I can’t help but think how we are the same age. He had so much more in his life to accomplish.

As of now, there aren’t any reports of his cause of death. But I do know this. He was well respected in the music world and his fans adored him. He was primarily known for his dance style/remixed, heavy beats music. I’ll be the first to admit, his music is catchy.

Below I attached this awesome article about Avicii and his love for his music. It’s important to know that there are pop stars who give a damn about their work. It has passion and meaning behind it. He loved his work. And as someone who works in the industry, that’s the only reason why most of us do what we do. We love our work.

Rest In Peace

 

https://www.billboard.com/articles/news/dance/8372644/billy-raffoul-avicii-interview-you-be-love

 

“All Hail The Heartbreaker”

I went to another show, yes, another show that I wasn’t working! How Fabulous!
There are still a handful of bands that I have yet to see or really want to see. Either I miss their show or just missed opportunities for shows.

One of my favorite “emo” bands is The Spill Canvas. For as long as I can remember being emo in middle school, I would listen to this band on repeat.

It was a little bit of nostalgia for me because I never saw them live before. I thought I did with Fall Out Boy a long time ago, but I’m going to say probably not.

If you don’t’ know who they are, you should check them out. Especially if you do like bands such as New Found Glory and Simple Plan. These guys are part of that era and part of a huge part of my growing up.

If you get the chance to see them, they are on tour now and tickets are priced about $12/15 dollars.

Below is a song that will forever be a classic in my heart.

Dear Ashleigh

I’ve briefly mentioned before, I used to write all the time. Not write as in like blog writing, but songwriting. I’m not very good at it. I get these crazy ideas, they bottle up inside me and they never go anywhere. It feels like I’m trying to say something but I can’t complete the sentence.

It sounds like the story of my life, but I understand why songwriting is such an art. There’s a beauty to it. Some people get it, some don’t.

As I’m writing this right now, I’m literally pulling my hair out because I’m trying to figure out my point.

For the first time in months, I finally picked up my keyboard. It’s currently sitting on my bed but I was finally playing for the first time in a long time.

So now where do I go from here? Do I keep it to myself? Do I let others know what I’m doing? What thing is for certain- my birthday is coming up and I feel like I’m missing something in my life.

Maybe songwriting can help me figure it out. Don’t believe me- I wrote the lyrics to the song below.

 

 

“Hell of a Girl”

As the season is dwindling down, I’ve been thinking a lot about this past year and what I want for myself careerwise.

Here is what I know:

  • I have way more confidence in myself then I’ve ever have before.
  • I have developed skill sets and communication skills on a different and higher level that I didn’t think was possible.
  • I know I can do any job and do it well.
  • As long as I put my mind to it, I will succeed.

This self-power I’ve developed has come a long way for me. Because the only thing I have is the power to believe in myself. And I hope as a reader and follower you will too.

I don’t know where it came from, but I do know, I need it for my career and my self-worth.

I think it’s important to reflect on what your goals are and what you want to accomplish in the next years. I do have some personal goals of mine but overall, my main focus for next year is to be part of the few woman people look up to in Nashville.

“Me Too”

I know this is going around on social media and I’m sure most of the men are wondering what it means. The “Me Too” status is representing the person AKA the woman who has been sexually assaulted or harassed. I know this happens all the time, in any industry, at any given time. It can be physical, mental or emotional and it can be the smallest comment or rape.

It happens all the time in the music industry. All day every day. That’s a fact. And I have been a personal victim of this.Yes, I’ve been a victim. I’ve been commented on my looks, my body, my sexual being, just being myself people felt the need to say or do something to me.

The saddest thing about the whole situation is that people know this is a problem and some know that they are doing it. This is an issue. And some people don’t understand, sometimes what they do or say is sexual harassment. Nobody, either way, will do anything about it. That’s a problem.

As a woman, I suggest you stand up for yourself and tell the guy off if this happens to you. Or tell someone about it. Or go to the police. Stand up for yourself.

As a man, I suggest you keep your words and hands to yourself.

 

“Sweat”

I had a really good conversation last night with one of my supervisors from Milwaukee. I was telling him about the interesting ride I’ve had this year with my career and he said, “Being a dick is not going to get you anywhere in this industry.”

While I know this statement is whole, heartedly true I can attest to that statement. Because I’ve lived it multiple times. Just in life in general: If you are a jerk to people, you are not going to get very far in life. Seriously though, nobody likes a Debbie Downer or someone who is plain rude.

I guess the reason why I’m writing this is that it is relieving and reassuring to hear from someone higher up in the industry, just because you are an asshole, doesn’t mean you are going to push your way to the front.

I’ve had some awful experiences with people just being plain mean to me this year. Nothing I can do about it besides take the high road. I hope one day they do too.

 

Chester Bennington

It is a tragedy not only in the music but in society. I’m talking about this thing called suicide.

We work ourselves to the bone trying to enjoy this “American Dream”. We try to date, but dating isn’t quite the same as it was back in the 90’s. We try to make everyone happy, but let’s be honest, there’s always someone you can’t impress. And it takes a toll on you.

Unfortunately, suicide happens a lot in American culture. When you get to the point where you mentally can’t stand to see daylight anymore; It’s a shame that people call suicide a “selfish act”.

I feel for everyone including the fans that adored Chester Bennington. Chester was not only extremely talented, but he was in a lot of pain. And you can hear it in the music. I heard it when I first heard “Numb” for the first time on the radio.

I hope everyone sees this as a learning process.  Whether they ask for help or not, it’s better to ask are you ok, because sometimes that’s all people need. And sometimes they need a little bit more, and that’s ok too.

 

 

“Sweet Dreams”

I’ll tell you this right now, don’t expect to make a ton of money when you make it in the industry. If you hear of it, they are probably lying to you.

I’m not trying to pessimistic, but it’s true. You don’t enter this industry thinking you are going to make a lot of money. Because EVERYONE wants to work in the industry, so employers can offer you less than nothing to work in the industry.

Do I call bullsh*t, yes it is! But it’s the fact of life. Supply and demand my friends.

So if you enter this industry, I hope you have a lot of money to start or I hope you other forms of income.

A ton of us has side gigs. I work at the City Winery because I can. I have a lot of friends who bartend on the side. I even have a good friend who works full-time for a well-known country artist and she sells real estate on the side.

I’m trying to find other ways of income as we speak. I’m not hurting because I started my savings account about six years ago after I got stuck in New Zealand. But I’m always on the look out.

So just a heads up- “Sweet Dreams to You” if you think you’re going to make bank right away.